here's the thing...

Holy crap.
I just watched a video of Rapture Cabaret. It's weird to see Brandon, like to actually see him move about and stuff, even on camera. For so long I just had some pictures and a voice to go along with them.
And I miss him.

I think about him every day but I think he assumes I don't anymore. I do, I really do. I care about him hugely, but he's super distant with me. Then again, if he reads this, then I'm not surprised.
I haven't been distant with him though! And he was the one who made himself far from me when he got a girl.
Now, I finally find someone - ish - and he's completely backed away. I mean, I kinda understand, 'cause it sucks but all the same, I still wanted to talk to him then - I persisted. He's just running. So, run little boy. Self preservation and all that shit, think it's a little late for that now, don't you?


I decided! I'm going to help Martyn. I've already thought of how and I know all our friends will want to as well. So, I'm going to get that all sorted as much as possible in Glasgow. He's in trouble, he needs help and I want to show him that he's not alone, and people do care. Especially me.

I'm working tonight. Again. 4-F. Again.
It just makes the time go SLOWER until tuesday. What is it, three days now? Gosh.

Me and mummy are going to buy some high heels tomorrow. Like actual heels, because the only ones I have are like two inches - if that - and my legs would look killer in some proper ones. Chris will hate it.
I don't care.
Get over me being taller, boy. You... Brutish man, you.