A nicer feeling

Mildly contradicting myself inwardly now.
Another of my friends has come forward and told me how horrible I am in certain situations - let's call her C, and the other one R.
R and C live together in a shared flat with two others (cue Paul and Person Who Hates Me). They only know each other because of me and Rosie, because we're fun people who like to bring others together, yay!
So, me and R have made up and everything's fine and dandy, but only to the extent that nothing will ever be the same because in the back of my head all I can think about is that he basically told me, he isn't angry at me anymore because I'm not worth getting angry over. So.. I don't really matter to him? Or something.
He has also informed me that C is super angry at me, to the extent that a simple apology will not suffice. Why she did not tell me this herself I cannot fathom, something to do with not wanting to ruin my holiday at home or - whatever, I hate it when people keep junk from me that's about me, it's as bad as lying. In my opinion, anyway.
SOOO! I go to C, after being informed she's very angry, and she tells me that I've, "lost touch with how to treat people" and I'm "a great friend when it's just her and maybe a few others", but basically I'm a shit friend every other time - so, any social occasion we go to? Because it seems like I, "get bored really quickly and find someone else more interesting".
Apparently, it's not only her and R who think this and get this treatment from me! No no, it's Rosie and Step, too, just to name a couple.

I don't mean to sound so mocking. Kind of. But I've been hurt, quite simply, and feel the need to express this hurt.
At first I felt... well, a lot of things. She said, and has said before, some horrible horrible things to me. I didn't think about it when she's said anything before but I honestly don't know how anything will ever be okay between us again. I've basically been told my faults, in a vicious manner, and she's expressed her not wanting me to change who I am. So, the only possible outcome is I alter myself slightly and/or she gets to a point where she can not be angry at me anymore. But even when that happens, I will forever have the knowledge of all the things she's said (by the way, I love that song! I'm totally gunna go listen to it now).

When I realised this, I suddenly was less unhappy. I cried a flippin' lot, but Teddy spoke to me (Teddy would be my favourite boy ever) and made me feel better and reminded me that I've still got him and other people and a place to escape to, even if I don't always like it there.
If she ever needs me I will always be there. But I doubt I'll go running to her any time soon; the girl who claimed she was my REAL friend, (as opposed to all those imaginary ones I've got running about) friends don't do what she did.
So, the contradiction (inwardly) is that even though I'm like :( I'm also like :) which is weird.
Do you like that even though this was all rather "woe is me", I still managed to make some jokes? Yeah, me too.

IMPORTANT: I would like to note that it's not like I've not ever messed up or whatever, I have. Totally. But I admit that. And apologised for those things. I'm tired of apologising.