Goth it up love!

Honestly, and I will get questioned about this but what the hell, Cat House? A goth club place that is split into two sections of industrial cyber metal shizz and then a bit of everything, SO MUCH BETTER THAN FIREWATER.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I had an awesome time in Firewater, but Cat House was SO much more my thing. I felt a tad intimidated in Firewater, I was in my own comfort in Metal central. Goth clubs are better anyway - I can feel like I own the place.


I love Sinead.
And I officially love Sarah.

Anna

hello glasgow

So, arrived here on Tuesday and was left in the station for an hour by Sinead. But it's alright, really. I didn't even mind that much, genuinely.

Tuesday was nice because I just kinda hung out and chilled with Sinead at her house and watched Casanova, which is AMAZING! That night we met up with Chris and John and went to a cheap-ass pub called the Counting House, it was really nice and I think we probably drank a bit too much. It was all drama discussion in drunken voices lol, but was cool all the same.

Mhazz and Ian showed up at the pub at about 10 ish and we just hung out and then went back to her's - was nice to be a bit of chill out day. And Mhairi bought me really nice prezzies =]]

The next day - MY BIRTHDAY!!!! - was amazing! Seriously, I had such a good day. So, that was yesterday, got my nose pierced and hung out with Sinead, Ian and Edd in the afternoon. We went to go see Indiana Jones, which is possibly one of the most epic films I have ever seen for a 're-make', for lack of a better word, after not having a film like that from Speilburg for a long time. I probz just spelt that wrong... how embarrassing. Oh well.

I think I have to go just night because we're going for a picnic but I will write more about the week so far really soon!

HAVE FUN.

Anna

Bed time? Pardon?

"Yeah, laugh! You won't be laughing when I forcibly remove your shins in an attempt to make you a more manageable height"

Or something along those lines... One of the funniest things I've ever had said to me.
So, it's like quarter to ten and in a minute I'm going to bed. Just after I've ripped the Happy Feet soundtrack onto my computer and then put it on my phone to listen to while I'm away. Along with all the songs I have to learn for rehearsals over half term.
Homework = listen to music = Awesomes!

In 12 hours time I will be hanging out with Sinead. I'm so looking forward to it, it's unreal.
And then I get to see Chris and Mhairi and Ian. And Alex.
And Dan =D



Jem came round tonight, we went for a drive and just acted like goons, I laughed hard - I love that girl. I have a really good time, and I had my first present from her. I top with a snake on the front, "SNAKEBITE" written across the back of it, she knows me way too well, heh.
I recieved an early present from my mummy and daddy as well - a money jar type thing in the shape of a vdub camper van, gotta love how much attention they pay me. It's shocking sometimes. This will be a good week.


All hell breaks loose in Glasgow just before I go there, though. JOY!
It'll be fine, though. I hope.
Bedbedbed



Anna

SHOPPING

I haven't actually ever been this excited at the prospect of shopping with my mother before.

Weird!

Chris said he would forcibly remove heels from me, if I wore them around him.
I find this idea amusing, so I'm definitely going to wear them around him =]

Anna

I miss...

Rosie.
Random thought, random timing.
But, I do.

Terribly.
I will see her on monday, though.
We will probably go out for dinner, bitch and moan about work and be disappointed that my 18th won't be spent with her. Although, the on-going joke that I call her on special occasions, drunk as hell and mumble love down the phone hysterically (that sounds difficult, but, seriously, I do it well) will definately come up. And then, it will definately happen. On my birthday (see, 'special occasions'), drunk as hell.

We have such a lovely friendship.

chaos in the hut

I could actually strangle some people.

I will never, ever, again tell my mother to stop yelling at me when she CLEARLY is not.
Today at work this girl Sophie had a go at me a bit for not running my food, she could've just said - "Anna, your food is here, it's been here for a while, can you run it?"
Because the only reason I didn't run it, and often don't hear my name being called is because I have a section on the other side of the restaurant and Zayd doesn't shout anyone's names very loudly. AT ALL.
So, I'm all looking at her kinda like blankly because I seriously don't know what to say to her freaking at me over nothing, and she starts going off on some shit about always running my food. Oh, wait a minute, did I not just mention this? It's because they always give me the section at the back of the restaurant!! You could just inform me nicely that my food needs running. You harsh small person. I then got a bollocking by my manager to watch what I say to people because I may have muttered, "shut up..." under my breath while walking away. Oh, my word, Sophie - get some fucking balls.

THEN, later on, I had to do a birthday shout out; which I'm fine with. I lit the candles, and needed the music to be turned down before I went out there and I said to the entire population of the bar (mainly Sophie because she was right next to the switch), "can someone dim the music for me?"
No one answered so I just said, "No? Okay then. I think it's alright anyway." There was a tinge of sarcasm but it involved a light hearted chuckle to indicate I obviously didn't really give a shit whether they did or not, actually I found their ignoring me quite amusing. But, Sophie was all, and I am SO NOT joking....
"Oh my god, stop yelling at me!!!" Like, actually screamed at me to stop yelling at her. Irony?
Do I, at this point, have the right to stab someone? Because I think I really should. Some one that annoying, with that high pitched a voice just does not deserve to live anymore.

MY WORD. Some one give that girl a muzzle, or something.
Thank the Lord I'm leaving that place.


Anna

here's the thing...

Holy crap.
I just watched a video of Rapture Cabaret. It's weird to see Brandon, like to actually see him move about and stuff, even on camera. For so long I just had some pictures and a voice to go along with them.
And I miss him.

I think about him every day but I think he assumes I don't anymore. I do, I really do. I care about him hugely, but he's super distant with me. Then again, if he reads this, then I'm not surprised.
I haven't been distant with him though! And he was the one who made himself far from me when he got a girl.
Now, I finally find someone - ish - and he's completely backed away. I mean, I kinda understand, 'cause it sucks but all the same, I still wanted to talk to him then - I persisted. He's just running. So, run little boy. Self preservation and all that shit, think it's a little late for that now, don't you?


I decided! I'm going to help Martyn. I've already thought of how and I know all our friends will want to as well. So, I'm going to get that all sorted as much as possible in Glasgow. He's in trouble, he needs help and I want to show him that he's not alone, and people do care. Especially me.

I'm working tonight. Again. 4-F. Again.
It just makes the time go SLOWER until tuesday. What is it, three days now? Gosh.

Me and mummy are going to buy some high heels tomorrow. Like actual heels, because the only ones I have are like two inches - if that - and my legs would look killer in some proper ones. Chris will hate it.
I don't care.
Get over me being taller, boy. You... Brutish man, you.

Transition

It's nice to move forward with things.
It's pleasant to watch them change and know that you're helping them progress.

It's also nice to think that you're maturing to the point of being able to talk things out. Especially when they can be this difficult.

Anna

Ego boost much?

Seriously, six freak'n days. Five until I board that wonderful (probably not wonderful) plane to Scotland. But only six until my birthday! Awesome.

I got this text from Chris on tuesday:
Davey on the subject of the lack of girls staying over... "Aw, that's rubbish. Still - Coinkidink. She's pretty fit."

This made me smile for the pure fact that Davey is nothing short of gorgeous. Plus he's a Dave, from the two infamous Dave's of youtube. talkwithdave and davefromblueskies - I'm pretty sure anyone would jump for joy if either one of them said they thought you were fit. It made me giggle. Also, yesterday, on the phone, Chris went into more detail of the evening. Apparently after that had been said by Davey, there had been this rather long awkward silence where everyone looked at each other and specifically Chris... I'm shocked at how quiet we've managed to keep me and him. It's not even intentional, people just don't seem to clock on. We're not even that subtle about it.
Chris told me that he told Davey I was off limits. Which I don't think could've made me smile any more, that he got all "SHE'S MINE FUCK OFF!" on his ass. In polite way, of course.
But we have no doubt that despite the warning, Dave probably still will try. Joyjoyjoy.
As much as I love being hit on by attractive gentlemen, drunken ones are entirely different matter. Especially since, in either case, I'd be saying something along the lines of, "Thank you, but no."


Ugh... my group is last for rehearsals. Which is fun.
Means out of my three hours in rehearsals, I don't have to be there for the first two hours and 15 minutes. Boredboredbored.

I want Chris to call me... Hmm. I might give him a buzz, I've got fucking ages so why the hell not.
After that, I'll call Alex - how I love Alex =]]

lyrics... ish

Some lyrics I wrote last night, they're not very good, they're rough; but I like them.

stolen gloves and stolen looks
two things were that night
crimes were committed on her honour
'cause of your eyes [hovered on me]

no kisses, no flirting
but by my side you rarely weren't
and I saw you looking
as if you never learnt

we spoke about real things
and conversation was laced
and your eyes never left mine
unless to scan the rest of my face

though nothing actually happened
that night started a chain
events that she would consider
just as bad as real pain

I don't wanna jeperdise anything
but I can't help liking the thought that I might
it's terrible and I shouldn't
but I like thinking that you think about me too
and since we met it's been every night

I've never been in this place before
I got used to not caring at all
but now you've gone into my comfort zone
I've never felt so small

Anna

I have completely stopped biting my nails.
This usually happens when I have something something completely occupying my mind.

I spoke to Karl - guy from Bournemouth - on the phone for two hours last night.
It was nice, but I think it was just to replace the thought that I knew Chris wouldn't call, and I couldn't call him.
Fuck, I miss him.

...Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
I'm gunna be late for my piano lesson if I'm not careful.

FUCK.

Anna

Better.

It was nice to know that I had some affect on Chris and his decision of whether or not he was going to go to London. I mean, I know he didn't want to anyone but it's nice to think that an added reason was that I was coming up to Glasgow, so leaving was not really something he wanted to do.
It's even nicer now. I got a phone call from Alex about ten minutes ago, just to say hi and see how I was after my silly emotional blurge video that I posted yesterday. I don't think I've ever posted something so personal and honest, but it was good to get it out of my system. He told me that he's going to the gathering! And getting there on my birthday =DD Which made me squeal a bit, very girly of me. He also said that it was seeing my video that pushed him to make the decision, I think it made him realise how much he misses everyone as well. To be honest, I think it made everyone realise how much they missed me.
Sinead's words were along the lines of, "If you saw me all the time you wouldn't appreciate it as much."
Which is true, but it does still suck that I have to wait these long times to get to see some of my favourite people in my life.
Definately made me realise how much I miss Alex, I think I started to forget how much I love that boy. He makes me smile so much, I really don't know what I'd do without him.


I think Chris read my blog yesterday. He sent me some text about him annoying me or something, I'm not annoyed - I love him. Not like that, but I still do. He's my Chris. And I don't feel like I need to label 'it' at all, we're just... us. That makes no sense! But I get what I mean, I think.

I'm feeling happier, though. More upbeat.
Four days of college, two finish shifts at work, a couple of days to get ready and then I'm off for an amazing week that I know I'll remember forever. What have I got to complain about, really?

Anna

I went to Bournemouth on friday with Jemma.
I was done with college by 12, she didn't even go in and it was the first friday in a very long time when I wasn't actually working, an adventure felt necessary. So, off to Bournemouth we drove, let my brother know, along with my uncle and Jem's friend, Hugh.
Due to lovely Uncle Dan running the pub/gig venue that is The Metropole, we got free entry to the gig upstairs where he was working that night, and free drinks because... Well, he was working that night. Because we were so early we met some of the members of a few of the bands. Lovely people! Jemma got a bit bored so I had to intervene with conversation with randoms to keep her spirits up.
This resulted in the meeting of, possibly, the most similar guy to me I have ever met in my life - Karl. Strange thing is that he was amazing. We instantly got on, he was friendly, paid loads of attention to me, but also to Jemma - I liked that! - he was attractive, same height as me, interesting, not to mention a fantastic guitarist. And yet, it was all very casual and I was so reserved you'd have thought I was sober. And gone blind, deaf and dumb. Because even sober I'm not that uncaring and relaxed. I mean, the mild flirting that I just know is me being friendly (how I'm like with boys and girls) was there but other than that, I was just hugely unconcerned. I could see all the fantastic attributes to this awesome guy and I really couldn't have cared less.
ALSO he has a girlfriend, and he told me he felt that way too. He got my number and I think we'll probably hang out in the near-ish future. I do hope so, 'cause he was pretty awesome. But then, being very similar to me, he'd have to be =DD All in all though, I had a great time, and I'm super psyched that me and Jem are back on terms of seeing each other more often again. I think my week in Glasgow will do us some good though because we've realised we need some time apart after a while.

It is now ten days until my birthday and nine days until I board a plane to Glasgow.
I know I shouldn't count down the days but it makes me feel better to know that every time I go to sleep, I wake up another day closer. I think it's helping me actually have some kind of drive to do things, so that the day feels like it's going faster. Odd that.
When I asked Chris if I could read his blog, he told me that there was nothing in it about me, but that he very much enjoyed reading mine. Now, this bugged me a smidgen at the time, because I was like, "Well, ok, I'm not that self-centered to think that you would, or let that be the only reason I read blogs and also, now I feel like if ever I get mad at him, or I want to emotionally blurge, I can't.
The worst thing is, I know he's going to read this. Why he'd read something so long and tedious is beyond me, but whatever. But that bugs me even more because now he may feel like I'm confronting him about this, but I'm not... I just fancy writing about it. Also, because about 60-70% of my thought pattern at the moment is based on or around him and so it's very difficult to not write something about him.
Holy crap, I'm not even making sense to myself anymore, and I sound like a small whining girl.

I'm going to have a cigarette, and then return...

Stress stress stress

Ugh, I'm actually terrible at this writing regularly thing but at least it was only like, a week.
Been busy busy busy!
Between college at college and then college at home, I'm seriously finding it hard to find any time at all. That's a lie, because I have a stupidly active social life, but I haven't been out drinking since Mhairi was down. I'm somewhat impressed with myself =D
Last friday I was told by Sinead via text that i had the lucky job of organizing Jazza's birthday collaboration. This was swiftly followed by a comical text from Chris saying,
"OMG YOU'RE DOING JAZZA'S BIRTHDAY COLLAB I'M SO JEALOUS"
Yes, well. You sarcastic bastard. It's not that I didn't want to do it! I just know it's a lot of work and I knew that if my mother saw me being really involved with something youtube-ish, more so than college that she'd kill me. Plus, I'm starting to feel the strain myself.
BUT it's all done. Finally.
All the files were sent to me, most of them LATE. Most of them were huge files, a couple I have to convert myself when I had told everyone to do it. I hate giving people instructions I know they'll completely ignore. It's somewhat irritating to anticipate something happening, and then watching it happen.
Anyway, when I finally got them all, and sorted them all out, I edited the video! Which, actually, took about six hours in total. Ouch. Then when I was all done and dusted I went to save. The saving process got to 2% and then the 'minutes remaining' suddenly started counting up. And up and up and up until the fourth time I tried to save it, the number of remaining minutes got to over 2,000. So, that was fun.
So I'm stressing like mad, but Sinead's told me she got the date wrong and it's not the 15th it's actually the 16th... goodo. That gives me an extra day!

I didn't even go into college today.
I spent SO LONG stressing over that damn thing last night that I didn't go to bed until about 4, and then woke up briefly enough in the morning to know that my mum told me to get up and she was on her way to work, and then woke up again at quarter to one. Somewhat confused.
I called in though, said I had a migraine. Got so bored at home that I thought I'd get some of my assignments done, that was a strange thing for me to do, but satisfying too.

ANDY! TheBorzoi totally saved my ass with the file saving thing. Gotta love him now, really. But I still have to stick to my Glasgow 'to do' list. Oh well, I slap people all the time.. Most of the time it's not even personal. ANYWAY. All saved, uploading it now. I really super mega hope it's good.


Oooo, small update!
Got my ticket to Glasgow, going up there on the 27th. Very exciting.
Chris is no longer going to London. I like to feel like I had something to do with that.
Dan is a penis pump, who I'm still friends with, but for what he did to Mhairi he is somewhat of a big fat smelly gay.
Alex is in Glasgow. Weirdweirdweird.
Chris reads this. Which is strange. But I kinda like the thought at the same time. Hi Chris! Bye Chris.

Bye everyone, really.

Anna

So I got a bit distracted with everything that happened.
Plus, I always find myself going online less when I actually see my online friends so having Mhairi around kinda killed this a little. Not in a bad way, I just found myself spending all my time not on the computer.
So, here I am. Completely lacking my online buddies in person, which I love, and so I'm back online all the time. Either that, or on the phone non stop. Chris and Sinead I've been speaking to a lot recently. I think it's because having Mhairi around made me miss them even more, because nearly everyone conversation revolved around them, or youtube or something that I could connect with them. Having her here felt like I had a bit of them here too, so when she left I felt so empty. And I felt as though I'd lost a bit of them too - it was very sad.

I literally cannot stop thinking about Chris. That's slightly sad and I'm not sure whether he'd be happy and think I was cute or think I was being a big girl if he knew that.

Big tall Alex from college likes me. Again. And a lot. Plus he's not subtle about it.
Which is just very conflicting in my head because I think about Chris all the time, even when I'm with Alex and hanging out with him I'm like... *Chrischrischrischris*
I don't want to lead him on, I mean he's nice. He's lovely, he's tall, he's good looking and he doesn't live that far away. We have quite a bit in common, similar friendship groups and loads of other stuff and yet every time I even think about considering what I'd do if he tried to further his affections, I just think about Chris.

Oh goodness, then there's I have to find another job. So, it's goodbye pizza hut and... hello some other place that I'll probably not like as much. Plus, I doubt I'll ever find a better manager than Laurence - which is somewhat upsetting. Ish. Oh god, I'm being over-dramatic.
But yeah, I've got that to worry about. I have to save for my birthday, sort out my tax rebate, pay people back that I'm in debt with, revise LOADS, finish off assignments, rehearse for my gig in June, make sure I have a job before I get back from holiday, blah blah blah blah blah.

OMGosh! Why is actually doing stuff so stressful!? I really don't know how people manage it.

Anna *Chrischrischrischris*