Eventually

As soon as I got back I was thrusted into going out every night and seeing people constantly.
I'm very tired.

But, in result, there will be no long winded story of my egypt travels. Unless I type out what I wrote down.

I've realised something; I'm terrified of change. Not with things around me, mostly, but with my own thoughts and feelings about things. I keep telling myself things in my head and then tell myself to stop thinking because if I was confident I wouldn't think about it at all, not in this way anyway.
I'm scared that things will be different, I'm scared of holding on but I'm scared of the loss if I let go. I need reassurance, I'm losing touch. I'm trying so hard to be positive and I'm totally excited but, still, I'm scared. I don't want it to be different than before, I like it the way things are now.

I'm just so fucking scared.

I'm not used to this, this normal thing that everyone's done or is doing and I never have. I feel like a little girl.