okay, alright

I'm not gone.
That didn't take too long. But I thought I'd bring to light my issues, not that I want to talk about them, just as a simple explanation for moods I may swing into. I have good and bad days, and within those days, I have good and bad moods. It doesn't take much but right now, I'm fine. Whatever, ignore it. I can't help but wanting to write when I'm not doing anything at home, read and write.

I had a realisation when exploring who I may see at Soul Survivor this year, most of my friends there are a culmination of boys scattered from different areas. This is no intentional thing, I like girls, I get on with girls, but I find myself needing to know them quite well or being initially wowed by their personality and this results in my not having very many female friends. Including the friends I make at Soul. But the friends I do make at Soul, regardless of gender tend to be ones that I stick with, get to know quite well and are always glad to see. And I get to see them every year at roughly the same time and observe how different they are to the last time we were at Soul. Some I occassionally meet up with throughout the year, which is nice because it really gives me someone outside of the church to be close with who's a Christian. Always a plus.
Ben Taylor I am particularly excited to see because this boy constantly is happy to see me, and treats me like there is no other girl in the world he'd like to give his attention to other than me. Which is lovely, plus we really connect on a level that I don't with a lot of people. Sure, we mess around and joke about but when we talk, we really do talk, mega deep conversations.

Soul Survivor is, inadvertedly, a Christian dating festival. A place to meet young Christians from all over the country - and further - and spend a week with them. This, unfortunately, is not excluding the opposite sex. Genders will mix, this is just natural. However, you stick roughly ten thousand 14-24 year olds in a giant field for a week and you're bound to get a drama or two, this generally takes the form of people pairing up.
Now, I see some of same people every year. You've got your preppy boys - a group of about six, they were a year, maybe two, older than me when I first encountered them and although it was clear they were strong Christians, girls were also an obvious hobby they couldn't ignore while at this faith enriching festival. The first year I was intrigued because they stood behind me during the first meeting of the week and did the most beautiful harmonies I had ever heard any male do. The year after that I saw them again and they vaguely remembered who I was from a brief encounter. Last year, they remembered me again, learnt my name and occassionally spoke to me. But I'm obviously not their type and so their attention was limited and girls who were size 8 and wearing topshop were much more intersting than trying to converse on even a mildly intelectual level with a girl on team who looked as though she'd just popped out of a skate clothing designed magazine. Apparently, that was me. Now, this would upset me somewhat if it weren't for having seen them flirting outrageously with every girl similar to the size 8 topshop wearing girls since I'd first met them.
Then, you have the outcasts. Now, I say this not because I consider them to be outcasts, but merely because that's what they are. Sadly, for people who don't fit in with the generic 'normal' persons that populate the earth, this does not change even in a place where you're supposed to accept all. And so, this group of eccentric, interesting, incredibly friendly and bright young adults get avoided like nobodies business. Consequently, if you show any interest amongst the boys of this group (and in some cases the girls) you get A LOT of attention back. They're people I get along with well, along with everyone else. Being on team last year meant I could discourage others from being impolite to these individuals, and conversation was made between people who would never even consider it.
The more recent group of people I've discovered are the ones that come back each year dressed in a new kind of fad. But bless them, they were the young ones when I no longer was, and society seems to affect their sense of fashion and everything 'cool' about them. They mix with themselves, each year bringing new people into their group that fit their criteria, but they're a nice bunch of boys and girls that liked me for some unexplainable reason. One little one, adored by all - including me - has a new summer romance each year, leaving her permenantly attached to whoever is overcome by her immense cuteness. She's the heart throb of their little pack.
Many more different stereotypes come into this but I'm sure you can imagine it all. Everyone's very accepting of everyone else, with some few exceptions. But, otherwise, Soul Survivor has it's own The OC-esque drama going on, as if it were a school or an episode of The Hills.

None the less, I can not wait to see the people I miss. Get back into God, as I said last year as well. Enjoy the general awesomeness that everyone should experience of such an amazing place, it is something truely fantastic. I leave on the 10th.

And then Sinead is coming to see me on the 18th, so that's nice too.